How Motherhood Changed My Pace, Not My Purpose
In my twenties, I was a business owner, and for a short time, I worked in corporate in Washington DC too. I could easily pour in twelve or fifteen-hour days, chase every idea, and ride the high of being constantly “on.” I could build, create, network, and push endlessly, and at the time, that pace made sense. That version of me thrived on forward motion.
Now, in my thirties, I’ve learned a lot about work, life, kids and “balance”. Here’s what I know now: the idea that women should do everything, all at once, forever, is a terrible deal for us. I’m always cheering women on and a true feminist, believing we have equal space in this world, but I’ve learned we have to pivot and adjust our schedules and lives to find the passions, curiosities and goals we have set for ourselves depending on our seasons of life, and that’s ok. The “boss-babe, have-it-all, be-everyone-for-everyone” narrative doesn’t free us; it quietly exhausts us. It tells us to smile through the burnout and call it empowerment. It convinces us that rest is weakness and that slowing down means we’ve somehow lost our edge.
I didn’t sign up for perfection. I signed up for a life, one where family is beautiful and central, and where my work still matters. I can want more and still honor the season I’m in. I can love my kids fiercely and still crave something that’s mine. The difference now is that I’m STRATEGIC with my time. I’ve learned that wanting more doesn’t mean doing more, it means doing WHAT MATTERS, in the windows that matter.
Before kids, time felt endless. Now, it feels like a puzzle that resets every morning. The early hours of each day are spoken for, breakfasts, baths, water bottles, and school drop-offs on opposite sides of town. There’s always something to find, something to clean, something to remember. By the time I’m back home, the house has its own to-do list: dishes, laundry, the quiet chaos of living.
Then comes my window of time, the sacred hours from ten to two. Since sending both of my kids off to school, I’ve found a new season, which is a bit of free time during the day to explore and achieve. That’s when I can breathe and focus. That’s when I’m not “on call” for everyone else. It’s not a lot of time, but it’s enough for this current season of my life. I can move mountains in those hours because I have to. I pick one thing that matters and give it my full attention. No multitasking. No scrolling. Just deep work, fueled by the knowledge that the clock is ticking and I’m building something that’s mine.
But as the day creeps toward school pick-up, my brain starts to shift. The emails slow down, the focus starts to fade, and by three o’clock, I’m back in motion, car lines, snacks, sports, piano lessons, homework, dinner. What’s for dinner, actually? Should I have prepped something earlier? Should we just grab takeout? There’s always that low hum of decision fatigue. But everyday, I pull it together and make it work.
I used to measure productivity by hours worked. Now, I measure it by presence, by how fully I show up in whatever block of time I’m in. When I’m with my kids, I want to be with them. When I’m working, I want to be so immersed that I lose track of time until the school bell rings.
I’ve let go of the myth that equality means copying men’s work patterns. My biology, my responsibilities, and my values shape my calendar, and that’s not failure, it’s design. I’ve let go of the idea that ambition and motherhood can’t live in the same house. They can, as long as I protect the boundaries that let each one breathe.
But here’s the other truth: you can’t ignore your passions and curiosities. Never silence what your heart pumps for. That spark inside you, the one that still dreams, still creates, still whispers “there’s more” - it deserves your time too. Finding even a small pocket of space to nurture your passion, build a business, start a side project, or chase that dream job isn’t selfish. It’s essential to your own health and happiness.
Motherhood may be the most profound gift we give this world, raising kind, happy, healthy humans, but the world also needs you. The version of you who builds, who creates, who contributes something only you can bring into being. When you keep that fire alive, you’re not taking from your family, you’re showing them what it looks like to live fully.
The key is discipline wrapped in grace, routines and time blocks that give you and your family the best of you. A rhythm that lets you be fully present as a mom and still feed your creative, ambitious self. Because fulfillment isn’t found in choosing one life over another; it’s in designing the space to hold both.
I used to believe I could do anything if I just worked hard enough. Now I know that I can do anything, just not everything, and not all at once. My life has different physics now. My priorities have tiny heartbeats and names. The version of me who worked fifteen-hour days would be proud of the version who’s learned to build in just four during motherhood.
If you’re reading this and feel torn between wanting more and loving what you already have, you’re not alone. You’re not lazy, unorganized, or behind. You’re just living a different kind of success story, the kind built between drop-offs and nap times, between dinner and bedtime stories, in the sacred space of ten to two.
You don’t have to choose either. You just have to choose when.
Because the truth is, we can want more, love our families hard, and build something beautiful, four powerful hours at a time. Remember, never silence what your heart pumps for. That spark inside you, the one that still dreams, still creates, still whispers “there’s more” - it deserves your time too. 💛